Temptation

In remembrance of your smile i try to piece together your pain. In thought of the past i try to find the answers. My mind is racing my temptation is dripping from the palms of my hands…I need to know..

What could you possibly have to say to me?

I dream of the day my shine blinds you. Remember those nights you sat back and laughed? Remember all those harsh words of being nothing without your touch.

my temptation is killing me, i really want to know! What were you thinking? Did you really think that could ruin me? I don’t understand… the excuses are dead..i use to fall for them…

but now my heart takes control.

I am stronger without you

Do you remember those nights i cried?  You sat there with no emotion.. not understanding me so instead you left me in the storm…

D.r.o.w.n.i.n.g

feelings were worthless, my tears were painless, my love for you was dying.

Why did you let me suffer?

As you slept peacefully, you left me alone to wonder about my insecurities. i suffered in your presence. I tried to get you to understand. I begged you to listen.

You deserted me, i don’t deserve this.

You tried to destroy me.

you almost had me…wrapped up in your arms praying i was safe. Laying beneath you hiding from…you.

I am stronger than you.

Pretending the pain isn’t surfaced. loving you through your devilish ways. Never backing down, always expressing love. Needing you, Desiring you. praying for you… Just to be…

washed away by you.

I am better than this.

The constant hardship. the constant heartache….

I have something to say to you..

I am strong

I am love

I am blessed

I am beautiful

I am understanding

I am smart

I am worthy

I am desirable

I am human

I  am ME.

I thought I needed you, I thought you completed me , I thought I couldn’t live without your touch. I thought I couldn’t parent without you. I was wrapped up in you.

I couldn’t function without you.

but now my heart takes control.

The world is on my shoulders and i carry it well. You thought you could belittle me, you thought i was weak.

Foolish…

You couldn’t love me so you taught me how to love myself. You didn’t appreciate me so you pushed me to appreciate myself. You didn’t fight for me …so i chose to fight for myself.

 

Queen Wins.

 

 

 

 

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