I loved that broken soul.

Late night prayers with endless nights of wondering if i would survive..Would i live to tell my story? I never really understood what was happening around me. My life was exhausting even when i was resting.

I was in love with a man who didn’t have enough heart to love himself….

Late night smoking sessions with early mornings. All i ever wanted was to grasp my reality and gather my thoughts. My depression was endless and the tunnel was completely gone. No light in sight. Lost in the clouds..

I was in love with a man who hurt me daily….

What is life? Happiness, purity, love, laughter..making memories you will never forget with people and family that held your hand and watched you prosper to your current book. Loving life with people that completed my sentences with periods and pushed me to be great.

I was in love…

i spend 1,825 days wanting my life back. The depression he faced seeped into my pores.. it took over my mind, my body and my soul. My life as i built it wasn’t the way i was living. Anxiety, Depression, Insomnia.. who am i ?

I was in love with the demon living inside him….

When you look in the mirror at your reflection, the figure of your face, the tears in your eyes, the expression you make, it all can determine your hardship. When i looked in the mirror the only image i seen was his sick and twisted ways of using manipulation to make me feel completely…. lost ….i could only see him.

I was in love with a man who ruined me…

Late night crying and holding our children. Screaming in prayer to be released from the horrible life i led. Where did i go wrong, why isn’t he protecting us? What can i do to save him?

I was in love with a man who controlled my life…

Loving someone endlessly is all i knew. I accepted him in his skin. He beat me with his words, he slapped me with his accusations.. he tore me apart from the curls in my hair to the pink polish on my toes. I was his doll, he played with me…

I was in love with a man who took advantage of my heart…

Lost in love trying to find a route, looking for the light that never shined. Fighting through the tension, calming him in his rage. Completely letting myself go to save a soul that didn’t want to live. Suicide tried taking him..i couldn’t lose the man i was in love with, i fought and protected the demon i loved…

I thought i was in love with a man who beat me down…

Getting lost in the responsibilities of life. Bills, kids, prepping meals, maintaining a household, dropping down to whatever his beck and call was.. i was so tired. Exhaustion became my first name.

I thought i was in love with a man who let me struggle…alone.

My reality was never his priority. I was a stepping stone to the life he dreamed. I was the guinea pig to his desires and the floor mat he stomped away his mistakes on. I was a living and moving rag that was torn apart through every trial we faced.

I thought i needed him…

After years of dying internally, i finally found the music that released my fears. My prayers became more frequent, my support became stronger. I began to realize that my road would end with death if it didn’t start with strength.

I was in love with who i was becoming…